I've discovered why Arsenal are crap this campaign

Forget all the arguing about Arsene Wenger's tactics, a youthful side, TH14's injuries or his "fued" with the gaffer. The answer is to be found within the walls of Emirates Stadium, and its not the size of the new pitch as some have theorized. No its a deep seeded conspiracy involving the Russian government and Roman Abramovich. Think I am kidding, here is the proof. For those too lazy to click the link here's the reader's digest....

"British investigators have found minute traces of polonium 210, the radiotactive isotope that killed former Russian spy Alexander Litvinenko, at the stadium of English Premier League soccer club Arsenal, a public health spokeswoman said on Tuesday."--Reuters

First off, I got a C in Chemistry, I don't know how it was that high, so I am no expert but I don't remember Polonium on the chart of the elements, unless it was wedged in next to those wierd ones at the ends like Einsteinium and Californium. Secondly, I think all signs have to point to the Russians on this one, and if I am not mistaken isn't one of the most powerful Ruskies seen quite often in the SouthWest 6??? It's just one giant conspiracy, I knew Roman was desperate to win the league, but this is ridiculous, resorting to terrorist tactics such as this. Maybe he was worried Arsenal would call on it most (in) famous supporter to turn the season around and sink the Blues.